Dads Who Really Do Nothing

Big City Mom recently wrote on being a mother who does nothing.

There is no greater task than the nothing you did yesterday, the nothing you are doing today, and the nothing you will do tomorrow. Caring for a baby is all about the immediate experience, yet the first two years are all about investment. It’s give, give, give, and give some more. These are hard-fought, rough-and-tumble years that can cut us down to our core and take us soaring high above the clouds, all in the space of 5 minutes. And yes, as you do the hardest work of your life, it will seem like you’re not getting anything done at all. Crazy, huh?

Our daughter was born 18 months ago and I've loved every minute of being a father. I was fortunate to take one week off prior to her birth and followed it with another 4 months. Both my wife and I were home for those crucial months and I wish everyone this opportunity. Furthermore, I wish that our society put these initial months of nurturing as a number one priority - but that's another topic. Leaving for the first time was difficult but each time after that has been equally just as hard, if not harder.

I'm blessed that my occupation enables me to dedicate 100% of my time off with our daughter. I couldn't have asked for it any other way. There are times where I would rather enjoy a stress free shower without the worry of her crying, a little gaming here and there, but singing along with her during the intro to Sofia the First, Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood or even Dr. McStuffins, brings me joys that I can't even speak of. Watching her feet wiggle with happiness when I feed her or teaching her baby sign language trumps mashing buttons, reading technology news and yes, even flying.

My day usually entails changing her nighttime diaper, changing her into "outdoor" clothes, playing with her, feeding her, changing her diaper, playing some more, followed by a delicious 1.5 hour (or more!) nap, then doing the same that afternoon until my wife comes home.

I'm able to get a few things done around the house, but it's even more amazing how much my wife is able to accomplish. She cooks, cleans, does laundry and washes the dishes. She even plans big parties including writing and mailing her mother's invitations for her upcoming 60th birthday party. All this with our daughter still nursing and sometimes throwing small temper tantrums. Not to mention, the previous month where our daughter was sick almost the entire time proved to the hardest yet, but we got through it together. Compared to me, I'm beat from hanging out and literally doing nothing. I like to call it playing hard.

At the end of the day, I sometimes find myself still in pajamas! After we lay her to bed, my wife and I cuddle on the couch and reflect on the past months. Sometimes we think that we haven't done anything barely remembering the first couple of months, but we come to the realization how amazing life truly is. There's no need or want to do anything else but hold her, hang out with her and play. Sometimes I have to resist the urge to wake her up and play more!

Yes, my wife and I joyfully co-sleep with our daughter on the floor of her room. I really don't understand the need to ever sleep in separate beds, or rooms for that matter, especially during these first two years. Maybe it's me being away for days at a time that I rather be with my entire family. I have friends, some with and others without kids, that look at us like we must be in a living hell, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Our setup makes it rather lonely when I leave and stay in the bed of a hotel in a distant city. I love my family so much and the happiness from being together is truly wonderful.

Sometimes we're able to get things together and venture outside the house. When we do, the beach is usually our go to. There are a few times that I look back and really have to think about what I've done, but then my daughter gives the biggest smile and I know exactly, right there, that what I'm doing is all I need to do. Did I mention, I love my family!


Ultimately, the days go by too fast. She's growing up too quickly but I always cherish every day and every minute I get with her.

Trade in your Starbucks for Tonx!

If you haven't been on aware, I'm an avid coffee drinker. My morning ritual the past 18 months goes as this:

  • I select the 15 grind setting on my Baratza Virtuoso and start it immediately after my Medelco Glass Kettle starts screaming.
  • I then pour the hot water into my Hario Buono Kettle, pour my freshly ground beans in my Able Brewing Kone Filter which sits upon a Hario V60 02 Drip Ceramic Filter, aiming for a 27g/360ml water to coffee ratio over 3:00 minutes.
  • I pour for 30 seconds to 60g, then wait another 30 seconds for bloom.
  • I take a huge whiff of the brew, and then pour another 120g to stopping at 180 and rest for another 20 seconds. Then I top it off reaching 360.

It might seem complicated but believe me, the cup is FRESH and it really isn't that much of a hassle! This past Christmas, I brought the setup to a friend's house and had a great time making coffee for everyone!

So, I'm telling you all this as one of my favorite coffee roasters, just this morning, launched a Starbucks to better coffee exchange program! You read that right! Trade in your Starbucks gift cards for dollar-to-dollar credit towards a Tonx subscription and get the freshest beans delivered straight to your door!


We Source. We Roast. We Ship. You Brew. At Tonx, we believe great coffee starts with great beans and the best cup of coffee can be made easily at home. That’s why we source from top producers, roast to perfection, and ship our beans within hours of completion. Our brew guides and expert staff will have you brewing the best cup of coffee in no time.

They line up an oddly priced $38 Starbucks gift card to 8 frappucinos, or 11 cappuccinos, or 17 drip coffees, vs 48 cups of "carefully sourced, expertly roasted, super fresh coffee." I couldn't agree more.

Trust me, this isn't a marketing scheme. The coffee that I have received from Tonx over the past year has been some of the best mornings ever! The only benefit for me is that if you use my link, I earn credit towards my coffee habit too.

Tonx has made it really easy for you too! Just head to and enter your Starbucks card number and security code, then it will enter a que to which it will be covered to Tonx subscription credit! I'm in the midst of trading in my $25 that I received for Christmas. It's like upgrading your gift!

Tonx better coffee

Yay for Slice!

If you haven't used the app called Slice (iOS / Android / Web), here's a great write up by my wife Adelle on her recent experience.

Yay for Slice!

by Adelle Nicolas:

Two weeks ago I had purchased a pair of Corso Como 'Famenka' Flat Nude 6.5 M on as a gift to myself for my new job. Nordstrom was in the midst of their Half Yearly sale, so I got a pretty amazing deal on the flats and bought them for under $40!

About a week later, I received a notification on my phone from the Slice app (iOS / Android / Web) that alerted me of a $10 price drop in the shoes I had purchased. The Slice Team also sent me an email about my Nordstrom purchase and included a link to the item I purchased with the new adjusted price, my order number, as well as Nordstrom's customer service number so I could inquire about my refund. I used all the information I was given and talked to Jeff in customer service and I was quickly and kindly refunded the $10 on my credit card. I ended up getting a 50% discount on some very comfortable flats thanks to Slice!


If you have any questions about privacy, you can check out their FAQ. Most importantly, the most asked about question, I've posted here for direct reference.

Does Slice store my password to my email account?

Slice uses a secure protocol called OAuth ( to allow for authorization to your Gmail, Yahoo! Mail or account. For these accounts, the authentication happens between you and Gmail, Yahoo or, and we never even see the password you enter for your email accounts. OAuth is used by many popular websites, such as Facebook, Twitter, Netflix and of course, Google, Yahoo! and Microsoft.

For mail providers that do not support OAuth, like AOL, iCloud/MobileMe, Comcast and Cox, we will need to store your email passwords to be able to process your receipts. The passwords will be stored and encrypted in a separate, secure database.

Happy Parenting

As WSJ reports, being a parent and taking care of your child is much more enjoyable than going to work. I don't know why this would be a surprise but its definitely nothing new to me. I love spending time with my little Norah and lovely wife and being an airline pilot doesn't help. We definitely need to reset our priorities.

Being a parent isn’t easy. But many Americans apparently feel much happier when they’re caring for children than when they’re working. In fact, caring for children brings nearly as much happiness as leisure time.