These last few days (or weeks) I can't really tell because time just goes by at light speed has really brought me on a spiritual, growth, psychological, emotional, all over the place roller coaster. From debating my purpose here in Luxembourg to where I want to be in general; all these questions just really started to bog me down. I've noticed myself not dealing with things again. I'm still working but the details of my own life are getting left behind.
On my way to Amsterdam yesterday, I got to drive and just do a lot of thinking. Being with all the crew members and even meeting some cool people at Aero Ground just made me feel better all around. Things were looking up. It was a mess in trying to do my job because of security clearance issues, but I still was able to complete my mission (change out those Jepp bags). I got a room at the Novotel and enjoyed the night hanging out.
Today, I had the oppurtunity to drive with one of our assistant chief pilots back to Luxembourg. We took a rather scenic route back to Luxembourg through Bastogne which provided some good time for conversations. The gist of it though came at the end when I just started to speak about what was going through my head. "Don't let false obligations get in the way of oppurtunities." I needed to quote that because it just made sense. I'm missing my family and that is definitely a reasonable obligation, but the purpose of me being here is to grow and learn. That is an obligation that I owe myself perhaps. I don't know how to reason it out, but its slowly beginning to feel right. I know that I've all the time later on to "hang out" but as long as I'm learning and am able to take something back with me, then its all good. I have to handle my workload and budget what I'm suppose to do and not over work myself because that's where things go a little crazy. I have to give my mind a rest really.
I'm glad that I'm finally coming to my senses. It's taken a lot out of me, but as long as I'm able to *tune* Always think of the bright side of your life *end tune* then my head will remain straight. Thanks for everything guys!
Thanks mom and adelle too. Calling it homesick just gave it a definition but talking about always helps. Sorry for venting Manoj. Things are looking up! Hopefully...